Fear Is To Be Managed, Not Denied
There’s nothing wrong with being sheep - as long as you’re honest with yourself about the fact
I was influenced to do an essay on urban safety after seeing these howlers of tweets on X. It starts with:
American conservatism just doesn’t appeal to me because I’m not scared of everything.. not scared of immigrants, crime, using public transportation, cities. I’m interested in other people and like talking to them. Even if someone is weird it doesn’t really bother me.
But it was the second tweet that really took the cake:
Sorry, but if a psycho serial killer wants to randomly stab me because they want to steal my job or whatever it is it’s going to be while I’m having a good day not shivering in fear in a Ford Super Duty. Like grow up, that’s life, you can’t control for the horns of wild oxen.
Several years ago, the same account said:
Imagine: X is free! Anyway, the Left loves to tar the Right as being irrationally fearful of everything, compared to the Left, which approaches life with fearlessness and gusto. This is obviously not true; the only difference is what each side tends to be more afraid of. The Left, especially among urbanites, are often afraid of risks that are either highly unlikely to happen, like mass shootings, or in some cases, threats that don’t exist at all, such as the supposed epidemic of White supremacist violence coast-to-coast.
Conversely, by their own admission, they’re not afraid of the threats they’re most likely to face on a daily basis: the common street criminal, vagrants, road ragers, even their own neighbor. I often observe that humans are poor at assessing risk, but some of this can be attributed to familiarity breaking down your guard. If crazy people on the subway, for example, is something you encounter on a daily basis, and you seldom witness a violent incident, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that there’s no reason to be concerned about crazy people on the subway. On the flip side, mass shootings are far less likely, but while you could probably avoid crazy people during the course of your day, it’s much harder to avoid a mass shooting if it occurs, due to its irregularity. The concern isn’t entirely irrational.
Still, I doubt even they go about their days wondering if they’re going to end up caught in a mass shooting any more than they worry about running into a serial killer or a crazy person on the subway. It’s just more socially acceptable to worry about mass shootings than it is to worry about the more common types of crime which occur routinely throughout our society. If they are, in fact, preoccupied by being killed in a mass shooting, maybe they’re the paranoid ones, not the rest of us.
And that’s just it: there’s a big difference between simply being alert and aware to what’s going on around you versus being constantly on edge. It’s unfortunate that the topic of personal safety has become politicized, but the “American conservatism” “Christin” speaks of is merely saying that it’s okay to notice the obvious, safety is one’s own responsibility, and that it starts with vigilance. Safety isn’t the natural state of things. The world must be made safe for us. Either someone else does it or we do it ourselves. There’s no middle path.
A last word on this pathology among urban leftists. Like so much of what they believe, there’s no logical consistency in their thinking.
From another X account:
They can’t make up their minds. The world is so peaceful that worrying about crime is for the weak and overly frightened, yet the world is still so dangerous, ending your bloodline is the better option. I know everyone is tired of hearing this, but it doesn’t make sense because it’s not supposed to.
When urban leftists chastize “conservatives” for worrying about crime and safety, it’s yet another form of virtue-signalling, another way to say they’re better people. In reality, they’re sheep - they choose to live in denial, while leveraging that same denial to tell the world what wonderful humans they are. We only think good thoughts! they say. It’s how they attempted to shame fellow progressive Ana Kasparian for merely telling a story about how she was molested by a vagrant.
Most people of the world are sheep. I’m more sheep than I’m not. There’s nothing wrong with being sheep - as long as you’re honest with yourself about the fact. The problem is most sheep aren’t, flattering themselves into thinking they’re made of tougher stuff than the rest of us. In truth, they’re most dependent on the system and those of who’ve prepared ourselves to handle hard times. Ironically, civilization, the thing they hold contempt for, is what gives them a feeling of false strength.
The Streets Can Be Rough
Let’s talk urban safety. I’m going to let Fabian Ommar do most of the talking here, but before we begin, let’s put things in perspective.
As preparedness-minded folks, we need to grapple with two facts of life seemingly in contradiction to one another. First, we are likely living through the safest period of human history, at least in the West, America included. Even most of our cities are relatively safe places to be, compared to much of the rest of the world. Very few, if any, of us go through our daily lives constantly looking over our shoulder, ready to deal with danger at a moment’s notice. It’s probably why humans are much tamer today than they were a few hundred years ago - a sense of safety will let down your guard, for good and for ill.
At the same time, there are still far too many out there capable of horrendous violence, using it as their primary mode of communication. Our society has no answer for such people. While our likelihood of encountering them is low, at least once in our lives, we’ll run into them and we need to know what we’re going to do when they show up.
Retired Army Lieutenant Colonel David Grossman once explained it best:
“Most of the people in our society are sheep. They are kind, gentle, productive creatures who can only hurt one another by accident.” This is true. Remember, the murder rate is six per 100,000 per year, and the aggravated assault rate is four per 1,000 per year. What this means is that the vast majority of Americans are not inclined to hurt one another. Some estimates say that two million Americans are victims of violent crimes every year, a tragic, staggering number, perhaps an all-time record rate of violent crime. But there are almost 300 million Americans, which means that the odds of being a victim of violent crime is considerably less than one in a hundred on any given year. Furthermore, since many violent crimes are committed by repeat offenders, the actual number of violent citizens is considerably less than two million.
Thus there is a paradox, and we must grasp both ends of the situation: We may well be in the most violent times in history, but violence is still remarkably rare. This is because most citizens are kind, decent people who are not capable of hurting each other, except by accident or under extreme provocation. They are sheep.
The figures Grossman cites may be outdated, but his lesson isn’t. It’s important to understand why society is so safe, with the simplest, though incomplete, answer being that there just aren’t that many violent people out there any longer. Yet being a tame human also means most of us are woefully ill-prepared to deal with violence when it wakes us out of our slumber.
This is all a long way of saying that people like “Christin” are wrong, if you haven’t put it together by now. It’s not an “either-or” proposition. We can concede that we indeed live in the safest times in human history, that it’s just not necessary to be constantly on edge, while also realizing we should be prepared to deal with violence at all times. The problem is that when trouble does find you, people often discover not a single person will come to their rescue, even when there’s no shortage of bystanders around.
Let’s turn to Fabian Ommar, then, one of the most useful voices in the world of personal safety. A Brazil native, he’s from São Paulo, a city far more dangerous than most in the U.S. Earlier this year, he wrote an article for The Organic Prepper titled “Advanced Urban Survival Skills EVERYONE Should Have.” Let’s go over some of what he suggests.
First up:
#1 – USEFUL LIES
It’s perfectly fine to lie and create distractions and misdirections when dealing with strangers. When staying silent isn’t an option, use as few words as necessary. The more we talk, the more we give away or complicate ourselves, so keep it short so as not to get trapped in complex stories or contradict yourself.
– Don’t reveal your address.
When an app or taxi driver asks if you “live here,” say, “No, I’m just visiting a friend.” If possible, ask them to stop a few meters before or after your destination, maybe walk a block or two if your sixth sense tells you something’s off.
– You’re never alone.
This is great for women who are approached by a stranger or group, but it also works for men, depending on the situation. When someone tries to start a conversation by asking if you are accompanied (or whatever), just reply, “Yes, my husband/father/friend is here with me.”
– Never provide personal information.
When someone asks, “Do you work here?” “What’s your profession?” or inquires about personal information, casually give vague replies such as “I work in commerce.” Another appropriate reply I’ve used successfully is, “I just got fired and am looking for a job.”
This is all good advice, but it’s more challenging than it seems. It requires a certain level of conversational planning which most of us won’t do simply because it’s not possible to pre-plan all social interactions in this way. Moreover, unless we’re anti-social, most of us would rather be open and honest to a degree rather than go through the effort of telling lies about ourselves. What are we, secret agents?
Still, it’s not a bad idea to protect your identity to a degree. Strangers simply don’t need to know everything about you. Remember that as most people would rather not put up a totally fake veneer, people also often put up a persona which may not be totally fabricated, but often forms an incomplete picture of who we are. As Shakespeare once said: All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players.
Next:
#2 – ASSERT A BOUNDARY
A boundary is for your protection, so forget about someone else’s feelings. Get comfortable making people uncomfortable once they cross your boundaries. Be assertive: Don’t ask, don’t wait for further advancements, and be direct (“I need you to take a step away,” “I need to leave now”), firmly but without sounding nervous or raising your voice. Daisy wrote more about this here.
I’d caveat this by advising everyone not to go from zero to sixty unless the situation calls for it. In other words, don’t do or say anything outright that might escalate the situation. It’s always best to calmly and politely draw that line, then climb that escalation ladder if asking nicely doesn’t work. If you need to be more direct, circumstances will make it obvious. Remember: there’s a difference between being assertive and aggressive. Everyone has a fight-or-flight response; once yours gets triggered, it’s very easy to trigger the other party’s. Once both of you have adrenaline surging through your veins, it becomes extremely difficult for a cooler head to prevail.
This is probably the most important urban safety skill:
#4 – BE OBSERVANT
Most people walking in public spaces or riding in buses and trains might be somewhat aware of their surroundings and not with their heads in the clouds, but that’s different from being actively observant.
Paying close attention to details and the environment can be a superpower, improving our safety and other aspects of our lives. It requires focus, commitment, and being fully 100% in the moment. It’s a skill that can be developed and improved with practice.
For instance, when riding in a taxi, memorize the color, license plate, and any outstanding details. It’s OK to take a picture if that helps or you cannot memorize everything at the moment, but keep paying attention: How is the car inside and outside? Does the driver have tattoos? Are they tidy and well-presented? Does he or she look intoxicated? Calm, nervous, or agitated?
Another example: when riding a bus or train, take a look before grabbing a handle or taking a seat. Does it look stained or wet? Is there something under the seat, a backpack, a paper bag, or any suspicious object?
Cities are active, bustling, and crowded places. That means there’s a lot of data to process at once, and you must do so continuously. It seems like a lot of work, and it is, if you’re not accustomed to being observant. That said, you need to put in the practice, because your life may depend on it. As I explained last month, it’s not about being on edge, it’s just about being in a state of heightened awareness. You’d be surprised at how much more you can witness around you just by not having your nose stuck to your phone. There’s no ego boost you can get out of being oblivious to what’s going on around you; your senses are literally meant to be actively used, so use them!
There’s a reason why city-folk once had a reputation for being tough folk:
Nothing in the streets is personal, so don’t take anything personally. If someone bumps, attacks, or shouts at you, it’s because the attacker is either (a) having a bad day, (b) mentally ill (or on drugs), or (c) wants something from you (a robber, beggar, solicitor, etc). Ignoring and moving away is the best strategy.
Nobody likes being disrespected, but you can’t go through life reacting adversely to every provocation. Unless your life is literally in danger, there are very few fights worth having. If walking away is an option, confrontation isn’t an option. Remember: the longer you stick around and engage someone, the more difficult it’ll become for you to decide to walk away, so it’s best to do so when your emotions aren’t too deeply invested in the situation. There are times you may need to respond to a provocation, but if it’s from a total stranger, it’s best to walk away and let it be.
I really like this one:
Step back in avoidable danger. Step up in unavoidable danger.
People struggle with this. They often end up in totally avoidable situations, while failing to confront a threat when needed. It’s what happens when people become so divorced from violence, it becomes something easy to be flippant about. Then, when violence does find them, they’re at a loss for how to deal with the situation. Nobody likes the idea of being sheep, nobody likes watching bystanders walk on by while a crime happens right in front of them, but you need to exercise caution and base your choices not on fear alone, but on the circumstances particular to the moment. When danger does find you, however, you won’t have a choice. You need to act, immediately.
This is probably the toughest for a modern urbanite to manage:
Stereotyping can keep you safer than a firearm: be wary of suspicious types, but don’t neglect or make things easier for anyone, regardless of sex, age, size, appearance, uniform, or whatever. Ignore all PC bullsh*t if you want to stay alive.
If you’re still leery about being racist or something-phobic, then consider stereotyping a form of threat prioritization. If you agree that it’s irrational to be afraid about everything, then being afraid of nothing is imprudent. You need to instead recognize potential threats and separate those you can manage through time and distance from those to avoid at all costs. Theoretically, everyone can be a danger to you, but only a fool would be more afraid of a 10-year-old female over a 20-something six-foot-tall male.
Likewise, crime falls along racial lines. I’m no longer sorry to say so, that’s just how it is. That said, criminals do come in all colors and anyone, under the wrong circumstances, can pose a danger to you. Employ your common sense and gut feeling. If you detect someone the voice inside your head says to avoid at all costs, listen to that voice! Don’t worry about offending someone you didn’t even interact with.
This might seem like a bit much for some, but remember that Ommar is from Brazil:
Never stop moving. If you must stop to browse your phone or take a call or whatever, turn your back to a building or wall facing the sidewalk, give a 360 look, and be quick. Or enter a safe place. Jaywalking is OK if it’s safer than standing still waiting to crosswalk.
Don’t forget: you’re especially vulnerable in transitional spaces. Don’t take this too literally; we move through transitional spaces hundreds of times a year and nothing bad ever happens. However, if something bad happens, it’s going to happen in a transitional space. That’s the lesson here. When you’re in a transitional space, don’t act like you’re in your living room. You’re not.
This one serves as a form of sad commentary on the state of our society, but we need to live in accordance with reality. Someone you all know is always saying so, right?
Don’t look at anyone. Eye contact means you acknowledge the other person. The exception is when you want to let someone know you noticed them for some reason, for instance, to disarm a surprise attack you see coming (see “nod up vs. nod down” above).
There’s ways of seeing who’s around you without looking straight at them. If you’re standing in one place, remember to move around regularly. Not only will it maintain your all-around awareness, it also lets any potential threats lurking about know that you’re alert to their presence.
Here’s a technique I employ: when I detect someone coming my way, I casually and slowly turn towards them, again without looking directly at them. It allows me to size them up and make sure they don’t pose a problem for me. As they approach, I’ll walk towards them, ready to bolt past in case they’re in fact looking for trouble. Running in the opposite direction forces them to turn around, giving me a head start I wouldn’t have if we were both going the same direction.
Assuming they don’t pose any issues, as they walk by, I’ll then turn, casually again, my body facing them the whole way, once more without looking directly at them. Once they’ve walked past and I’m satisfied there’s no longer any need to observe them, I’ll turn my attention to something else. This may all seem overkill, but it’s really not. The key is to keep it casual. Otherwise, you may instead arouse suspicion and unease in them, turning yourself into a potential threat!
Let’s look at a few more of Ommar’s suggestions, of which there are many. Here he is talking about the importance of maintaining a safe distance:
To keep strangers from getting close, extend an arm with the hand open in their direction and say “can’t stop now” in a firm tone and go your way.
I’ve said in the past that an arm’s length away is well within an attacker’s lethal envelope. Since you can’t always choose exactly how far you keep someone away from you, however, consider an arm’s length the bare minimum amount of distance you want to keep a stranger away from you. Again, sometimes, you cannot avoid allowing strangers within your immediate proximity, but if plenty of space is available and a stranger still closes to within an arm’s reach, don’t be afraid to step back and draw a boundary. If they respect your space, they probably mean you no harm. If they don’t, you’re likely dealing with an attacker.
Finally:
Wear shoes you can run in. If you must wear high heels or formal shoes for work or an event, arrive and leave in sneakers.
Humans invented clothing and shoes for protection. Fashion came much later. Don’t forget that when it comes to what you wear, protection, not appearance, is your number one priority. Don’t talk to me about parties; are you going to one every day? Of course not. Like Ommar says, the world is full of dress codes, which should be followed. But when you’re out on the streets and in transitional spaces, it’s best to wear more comfortable, more functional clothing and footwear when possible.
There’s a lot more advice Ommar shares in his essay, so I strongly advise you all read it when you have time. Remember: being concerned for your safety isn’t anything to be ashamed of. Being paranoid and constantly on edge is counter-productive, but so is not being concerned at all about safety. Never, ever, allow anyone to shame you into thinking you’re a bad person because you don’t want to encounter crazy people out on the streets or on public transportation. Not only is it your life and not theirs, rest assured: they’re afraid too, maybe even more than you.
They’re just not honest enough to ask for help.
Look at what one person said following the election over two weeks ago now:
Shameless doesn’t even begin to describe it. Imagine drawing not a single connection between the policies they advocate for and the outcomes those policies engender. You can’t call for maximal libertine-ism and not enforcing the law out of fear it’ll disproportionately impact the “wrong” communities, while expecting pleasant outcomes. If they haven’t learned by now, they never will.
Prep Out Of Love, Not Fear
We’ll close on a separate topic which still relates to the matter of fear. Jill Winger of the website The Prairie Homestead explains why it’s not healthy to live your life as though the sky were perpetually falling:
It’s not that I don’t believe we won’t be facing some shaky times in America in the future. We felt it during COVID and it could still be continuing for quite some time. And it’s also not that I don’t take the time to be prepared for any type of emergency (blizzard or otherwise).
I store food in my basement. I’ve previously written about how I store a year’s supply of food (and also shared a video tour of my pantry and food storage).
Christian and I are prefer a mindset that focuses on being prepared while also enjoying the homestead life and all that it does for us…but we don’t let that pendulum swing all the way over to fear and panic.
It can be a slippery slope to becoming paranoid and believing all the conspiracy theories. Living in fear is bad for your mental (and physical) health. So be prepared, think ahead, be wise…without becoming fearful and paranoid.
I think most preparedness-minded folks don’t realize just how susceptible they are to the slippery slope Winger speaks of. Someone who shall remain unnamed posted something of an infamous tweet around this time in 2022, stating, “I think we’re about to be in a legit war,” without any further specifics, proceeded by a warning to followers to make last-minute preparations. Even then, the tweet sparked criticism, as many felt this person, who runs a subscription-based open-source intelligence service, was basically click-baiting. Surely, information on something as grave as an imminent war shouldn’t be reserved only for subscribers? As a result of the criticism, he had to provide a contextualizing tweet shortly thereafter, where he walked himself back.
Two years later, no such war as materialized and this person’s account strikes a much softer tone compared to the alarmist, worst-case-indulgent tack in its earlier years. The lesson here is that some, especially those who command large audiences, can use their influence irresponsibly. It’s also a perfect example of how easily anyone can fall into that same rabbit hole. A little information can be really dangerous. Remember that being well-informed doesn’t mean much without wisdom to go along with it.
I like this one:
Occam’s Razor Principle is the concept that says the simplest explanation that will account for a circumstance or an event is almost always the correct one. While it is admittedly more dramatic to believe in complex conspiracy-focused theories, do a whole lot of research first. Before jumping to conclusions about a topic, first try to consider the most simple reason behind it.
For example, could a chicken plant have burned down due to some diabolical plan from a villainous organization? Possibly. But is it also possible that factories are often complex buildings and that wiring just caught on fire? Yes. Let’s be open-minded enough to consider the obvious possibilities and solutions in our quest for truth on an issue.
I once penned “Max’s Razor”, which I’m now officially renaming “Remington’s Razor”. It says: the most probable explanation is the most likely. The Right is, unfortunately, more susceptible to conspiracism because it doesn’t control the institutions responsible for disseminating information, like the media. This doesn’t justify bad thinking, so we always need to be self-aware of our vulnerability to lazy thinking and drawing conclusions based on insufficient data. Remember that any event has possibilities with a higher probability of occurrence than the others. If you find yourself always reverting to the more dramatic, yet less probable possibilities, not only are you doing it wrong, you’re more likely to be wrong in the end.
Don’t ramble on about how the institutions have discredited themselves with lies, then go off to immerse yourself in lies of your own. Never allow yourself to be stuck in a mindset and be willing to change your mind based on new information. Trust me: it costs you nothing.
Winger concludes [bold original]:
I don’t know what the next ten years holds. And it’s okay to be prepared for declines in governments and be prepared for economic recessions and anything in between. But don’t lose sleep over it. I personally homestead out of love instead of fear. I think it’s so important to do that.
I think it makes homesteading much more enjoyable if you aren’t thinking that the sky is falling.
You can choose to live in a heightened state of fear or you can choose to love the homestead life and produce and prepare for your own enjoyment and life.
It’s wonderful advice. If you’re prepping out of fear or hate, it’s going to become stressful and you’ll find less room for indulging in life’s many pleasures. If it doesn’t become stressful, it’ll at least make you radioactive. Sound the alarm if you feel the need, but remember that while you can lead the horse to water, you can’t make it drink it. History is full of stories of people finding out the hard way; why should your loved ones be any different?
Read the rest of her essay. It’s short and full of wisdom.
How Street-Wise Are You?
What are your thoughts on the day’s topics? How do you manage fear? What sorts of urban safety skills do you practice? What sort of mindset do you prep out of?
Talk about it in the comments section.
Max Remington writes about armed conflict and prepping. Follow him on Twitter at @AgentMax90.
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