Feb 24Liked by Max Remington

Retired LEO here. Yes, I have used the training simulators and concur that they are an excellent tool, especially for people who have no real experience with violence. Most people don't have any experience with real, physical violence and it shows when we see videos of everything from acts of road rage to Karen confronting strangers about not wearing a mask during covid. I've long thought that the world would be a much better place if everyone took at least one moderate beating in their life, just so they'd understand the reality of interpersonal violence, understand that it could happen to them, and, therefore, behaved better in public and when interacting with strangers.

Putting that aside, the most important thing I'd advise everyone to take away from your piece today is the idea that you shouldn't borrow trouble. Avoiding the potential for a violent encounter in public is the best way. If you're not a cop or a security guard, it ain't your problem until the wolves are directly attacking you, your property, or your loved ones. Interjecting yourself into someone else's troubles by trying to take physical action on their behalf against another person is the quickest way to earn yourself, at a minimum, a boatload of legal hassles until it hopefully gets sorted in your favor. At worst, you end up going to prison.

Expand full comment
Feb 24·edited Feb 24Author

It all goes back to what Dave Grossman said about how most people are peaceful and won't harm others. The problem is that they're not only does it have the effect of making them incapable of dealing with danger, it also means they're ill-prepared to deal with anyone who goes off-script. Some people also make the mistake of thinking shaming others publicly is an effective way of dealing with a problem. That might work in some societies, but it doesn't work here.

"Don't borrow trouble." That's excellent advice. I'd personally suggest that the most anyone should do is act as a de-escalatory agent; if it looks like a fight is going to break out, get between the two parties, but only if it's safe to do so. If a fight is brewing between two large, mean-looking fellas and you're not a large, mean-looking fella yourself, it's probably not a good idea to get in the middle of that. If there's a massive fight brewing between two large crowds, definitely a bad idea to get into the middle of that.

As I said once before, we should all be ready and willing to help others, but not at the expense of our own safety. In the end, it just creates a bigger mess to clean up if it goes wrong.

Expand full comment