The issue isn’t that Danielle Mitchell was wrong to establish a boundary - she most certainly should - but that she tried doing so by imposing her personal norms on others.
I have a somewhat hard time understanding the situation. Was she sure that he didn’t have a car nearby? Was it a dangerous area? If so, why was she there?
I can think of a few legitimate reasons a man might call out to a woman in a parking lot. She might have dropped her wallet, or her child dropped a water bottle. Or maybe he thought she was a former classmate and he wanted to say hi.
So no, while she had a right to be wary, I don’t think she was reasonable to scream at him or berate him.
I would note that generally a man should be respectful that women are smaller and may feel threatened. Sometimes I have walked behind a woman on a dark street, realized she seemed nervous, and slowed down or moved to the other side. But sometimes there will be misunderstandings and you shouldn’t berate strangers for innocent mistakes.
Finally, I agree the cardinal rule of urban survival is to avoid dangerous situations, walk away, deflect and use the minimum intervention required when you are alarmed. And never try to “win” an interaction with a stranger. There is just no point in it.
I think she was just genuinely startled and the sketchiness of the guy probably exacerbated things. As I explained, there are times even people I know have snuck up on me, startled me, and I got pissed off in the process. That said, she should've given it time, cooled off, and if she really wanted to talk about this on TikTok, wait until the evening. IMO, the bigger issue here is that she decided to record a video about it while her fight-or-flight response was still active. Social media truly enables our worst impulses.
I have a somewhat hard time understanding the situation. Was she sure that he didn’t have a car nearby? Was it a dangerous area? If so, why was she there?
I can think of a few legitimate reasons a man might call out to a woman in a parking lot. She might have dropped her wallet, or her child dropped a water bottle. Or maybe he thought she was a former classmate and he wanted to say hi.
So no, while she had a right to be wary, I don’t think she was reasonable to scream at him or berate him.
I would note that generally a man should be respectful that women are smaller and may feel threatened. Sometimes I have walked behind a woman on a dark street, realized she seemed nervous, and slowed down or moved to the other side. But sometimes there will be misunderstandings and you shouldn’t berate strangers for innocent mistakes.
Finally, I agree the cardinal rule of urban survival is to avoid dangerous situations, walk away, deflect and use the minimum intervention required when you are alarmed. And never try to “win” an interaction with a stranger. There is just no point in it.
I think she was just genuinely startled and the sketchiness of the guy probably exacerbated things. As I explained, there are times even people I know have snuck up on me, startled me, and I got pissed off in the process. That said, she should've given it time, cooled off, and if she really wanted to talk about this on TikTok, wait until the evening. IMO, the bigger issue here is that she decided to record a video about it while her fight-or-flight response was still active. Social media truly enables our worst impulses.